Newly Grad

Congratulations Batch 2017!

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The moment that annoying emcee from your graduation ceremony congratulated you guys and girls, that was also the moment that you all are 100% unemployed motherfuckers. Okay, that’s kinda hard and deep but that’s the real thing.

Graduation party is done. You woke up early this morning asking yourself what are you going do now that you’re done with your shitty college life. Honestly, first thing you will feel, and I know this ones shitty, is to miss your college life. It will probably last for about a week or two. Unless, you’re that devoted in your college life. Blech!

Real world is a crazy jungle. You will definitely meet a lot of crazy shitty people. And you? Consider yourself as the caterpillar for now. Don’t be too ambitious to fly without your shitty wings or you’ll shitty die like a piece of shit.

So what does a caterpillar do? I don’t even have any idea. You can just Google it and try to relate the answer in the real world. You just graduated so I know you will understand. Or if you’re not comfortable with the caterpillar, look for any other worm. 

In this crazy jungle, the first thing you will meet, and this is for sure, are the shitty Lion’s cub (recruitment team). Always remember that you’re still a worm so if they try to toss you in the air, well, just shitty go with the flow. You will understand soon why you need to be as nice as fuck if you’re meeting the lion’s cub. After the shitty cub, meet the fucking boss. The shitty lion king. Okay, you’re a worm. Don’t let the Lion feel upset or disappointed or he/she will crush you like a bitch

After meeting the Lion’s family at the gate (and let’s say you made it), welcome to the jungle, mi amigo. It’s going to be different because everyone’s here, mostly snakes. I know you know what I mean so just try to fucking survive, wormy.

Always remember that you survived college days. I want to say it’s kinda the same thing in the real world but it’s really not especially if you’re one of us (Read The Shitty Ones). We are going to wait for you here in the jungle and we are going to have fun, feel disappointed and stressed but the good things is WE WILL ALWAYS SURVIVE.

However… 

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Before you can even enter the real world crazy jungle gate…

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STOP BEING A POTATO. GET YOUR ASS UP AND PRINT THAT FUCKING RESUME YOU SHITTY ONE! WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU!

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